How NOT to suffer

I recently heard a religious leader question the thought that one need not suffer to be holy. I found this very provocative so I decided to review the role of suffering in Christianity.

Jesus is certainly the first person that comes to mind when we think of suffering. His whole life, and ultimate demise, was the prime example to us. It is only through His profound suffering that we are brought into intimate relationship with Him. When we accept the responsibility for His destruction, we are greatly humbled to know the love He has for us is so deep that He choose to die [suffer] to save us. Although His love is beyond human comprehension, we accept that only through Him can we come to meet the Father. Had Jesus had not suffered so intensely for us, would our reconciliation truly be complete?

Next, we consider the saints. Saint Theresa of Calcutta, Saint Augustine, Saint Therese of Lisieux , Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Thomas of Aquinas, Saint John of the Cross, Saint Peter, Saint John the Baptist, and every martyr, all suffered immensely throughout their time, finding little to no peace in their faith life. We can examine each one and see that it was through their suffering that they have become so extraordinary. What saint didn’t provide us with a divine example of the deepest love found through their sufferings?

In these modern times, it is not so easy to find such people as those with the courage and devotion to willing to fully expose themselves to discomfort, condemnation, persecution, or other any other form of personal suffering. Most of us will be happy to avoid it at all costs, questioning the mentality of those who don’t. So I offer these general guidelines to help steer clear of any form of discomfort, persecution, emotional upset, feelings of guilt, injustice, or general distraught in the world.

1. Lead a sheltered life; do not leave your home very much. That way you can safely control your surroundings and limit yourself from witnessing any sort of behavior that is less then desirable.

2. Watch lots of movies and read lots of books. This is a safe way to expose yourself to drama in the form of entertainment, and not have to be directly involved in it yourself.

3. Don’t volunteer for anything. Keeping your contacts limited to a few trusted friends will help you avoid exposure to those unpredictable, needy people that are often served by unpaid do-gooders.

4. Have a good time. Keep your awareness away from the interest of food drives, soup kitchens, fund raisers, the elderly, small children, the low income, the unemployed, large families, those going through divorce, the sick, and the victims of accidents or crimes.

5. Vow to not follow Jesus. Everything he ever did was to help someone who is suffering. His entire message was for us to reach out to help others and give ourselves completely in humble service, especially towards are worst enemies. Not just sometimes, not even when it’s convenient or if when we happen to feel like it at the moment, but all the time!

Follow these guidelines and you will surely limit your personal growth, stunt your compassion for others, as you lose your proper perspective, allowing your imagination to fill in all those experiences that you are missing out on, while learning to overly generalize everyone and everything, and conjure up inaccurate profiles of every type of person.

However, if you happen to be someone who is not satisfied with living for himself, and you take the message of Jesus very seriously, you may find yourself looking for opportunities to hold the hand of someone who is dying, feed a starving family, help pay rent to a father who has recently become unemployed, visit with a lonely senior, smile at a stranger, say thank you often, spread your warmth, make yourself available to anyone who is in trouble, give lots of hugs, all your money and extra time to others, be a friend, be a parent, be a neighbor, be a daughter or son, be a family member, be a initiator, be the one who gets things done against all opposition.

In any of these activities you are sure to find yourself stepping out of your comfort zone and exposing your personal emotions while you help someone in need. You probably suffer as you emphasize with another, or shed a tear when you see someone in discomfort. You may even put yourself at risk when you seek out the less fortunate ,or stop to assist a person in trouble. You may very well run the risk of having an effect on another person that may be life changing, for them and for yourself. And you just might forget about all the little things your “problems” while you are in the presence of someone who is having a very tough time. There will even be times when you are not sure how to process what you are witnessing, and the images may stay with you for days or weeks causing you to struggle with your feelings.

You will suffer both personally and outwardly when you reach out to someone. Your family and friends may not like the risks you take or understand the places you are willing to go. They may become critical of your actions, which makes you suffer even more talking about “those people” in an offensive way. Even if suffering takes the form of private turmoil, our faith will be tested as we have a rare opportunity to accept the will of God in the worst possible of circumstance. We need to accept it because God’s will is always for the best. He will always take care of us and others, if only we let Him. If we understand these painful feelings to be a way for us to stop counting on our self or others, then our faith will deepen, as we realize we can trust God to provide our every need.

After all, Jesus didn’t waste time trying to appeal to the elite or upper class, he went straight for the sick, rejected, condemned, and worst of the sinners. He knew how to love them straight away, because He has nothing but love to offer, and He will give it freely to whoever is willing to accept it. He gives it to us too whenever we go out of our way for another. Though there may be suffering involved, He knows that it is through our own suffering that we can find a connection, a way to love someone else, even a total stranger. That is when the suffering becomes a deepening of faith as we experience real trust in God. No pain can interfere the feeling of His presence, or the love we exchange when our help is accepted by someone who returns the gift of His love, a thousand times over.